17 Jun

he Big O it is the best place to be!  We leave our bodies into a world of pure bliss.  When I am there everything is perfect and I am open to love.  So how can we get there?

Fact:  By SOGC, ” Only about a third of women experience orgasm regularly during intercourse. A third can reach orgasm with intercourse but need extra stimulation. A third never achieve orgasm during intercourse but can by manual and oral stimulation. Having orgasms by means other than intercourse is a normal variation of female sexuality. In the past, people thought that “mature” women had their orgasms with intercourse; you will sometimes run across an older book that has this view. However, laboratory studies in the 1960’s showed that an orgasm is an orgasm no matter which way you obtain it. How a woman reaches an orgasm has nothing to do with her mental health or emotional maturity.”   I found this fact true for me.   Intercourse is not the place you will finding me to have an orgasm.  I need other stimulation.  I have not given up though!

More Facts by Dr Gail Saltz  a Psychiatrist, Author, TV Commentator and Columnist States,• Columnist • Bestselling Author • TV Commentator

  • “50-60% of women will never have an orgasm via intercourse and will require clitoral stimulation to climax.
  • 30% of women will have a reliable orgasm with intercourse.
  • 10% of women will orgasm with intercourse and could possibly have sequential orgasms.
  • 5% of women have true multiple orgasms only through intercourse and these women typically find oral sex uncomfortable.”


The great thing about being over 40, we are more familiar with our bodies.  We are comfortable expressing to our partner what feels good. There is more time for us now that the kids are grown.   I know I am more adventurous in the bedroom now then I was back in my 20’s and 30″s. I can relax more and I would say that is true of most women over 40.   So let’s do it!
So here are some tips to help with the Big O

1 Masturbate get to know your body

2. Tell your partner what you need

3.  Let Go stop thinking about the kids soccer game.  You are on a mini vacation.  Be in the moment

4.  Take your time.   Stop looking at the clock. 

5. Try new positions that stimulate.  Be adventurous  

6.  Don’t make it a thing that has to happen.  Relax and enjoy the sex and let it happen naturally. 

7.  Buy some toys and play with them in bed with your partner or without your partner.  Toys help me! 

8.  Listen to movies that excite yourself with your partner or without

9.  Let your partner massage your whole body.   It very sensual and hot.  It really can help you achieve orgasm

10.  Get into it!  Give yourself permission to let go.  

FPF # 14:   Stop what you are doing and go for a walk.  Clear your head.  It  does wonders for the rest of your day
Until Then..Bari


15 Jun

I know this person who stays with this man that completely treats her like garbage because she is afraid of not finding someone else.  Something happens to us after 40, some of us think we need to compromise in finding the right person because we are older.   NOT TRUE.  In fact,  we have worked hard on our lives.  We finally know who we are. If anything this is the time to create a really special person, if that is what you want.  

A lot of us our divorced.  A lot of us are in unhappy relationships.  A lot of us settled.  We all know people that are in these magical relationships where the love is just flowing out.   I have this good friend and her husband, every time I see them I go, “Wow that is what I want.”   The love is unconditional and they have a blast together.  So what happens to a lot of us when we turn 40?  Some of us are suddenly settling for ” Not so great” when we deserve,  ” Amazing.”

No body is perfect.  Who wants perfect anyways, BORING.   In our hearts we know when we are with the right the right person.   So cut it out and stop cutting yourself short

1.  DON’T BE DESPERATE.   You don’t need anyone.  Stop trying it will happen when it is supposed to happen.  If it doesn’t, oh well.  You keep living and live BIG

2.  You get to choose if you want to sleep with that person on the first date.   You are not a teenager.  If it feels right great,  if not great too

3.  Let he/she call you.  NO phone or text stalking.  OK to call but don’t stalk!

4.  Speak up.  If you don’t like his/her politics, express it.  You are over 40,  you do have an opinion and he will respect you for it

5.  Wear something sexy but don’t try too hard.  Keep the breasts in and a little cleavage is OK, leave more to the imagination.

6.  Whatever conversation you want to have,  you can have.  BE YOURSELF

7.  When you see someone you like,  hand them your card.   GO FOR IT.  I missed two opportunities  in my life.  I felt a connection and was too scared to do it.  I will the next time.


9.  Let him/her ask you out again.   He/she will if they want to.

10.  Thank him/her after the date.

More to come on this subject…

FPF #14 Go buy a new bathing suit.  Something that shows off your figure.  Try a sexy one piece.

Until Then…Bari

Saving Calories, Losing Weight and Having a Sexy Body after 40

13 Jun

5 Ways to Save Calories in a Day…

1.   Put your dressing on the side and dip the dressing

2.  Bring your lunch.  You will eat less then going out to eat

3.  Workout in the morning.   A lot of times we are tired at night and don’t get to it.  Get in the habit of getting up and doing your workout.

4.  Forget the low-fat this and that.   Just eat smaller portions.   You will feel like you are not depriving yourself.

5.   Eat smaller meals through out the day.  You will keep your metabolism up and won’t be starving at dinner.   You will automatically eat less.

You may be over 40 but there is no excuse for eating poorly every day. We all have slip ups.  You had to see me this weekend in Chicago.  I was at a Bat Mitzvah and ate chips, salsa, margaritas,  dessert. Yes a Bat Mitzvah at a Mexican restaurant.  It was fun!    On Monday back on my routine.   I have learned through reading a ton of books and my own life experience you can not deprive yourself.

You want to look hot?   Then eat right..bottom line.  Your body is your vehicle to your dreams.   Cut out the fast food every day.  Cut out the garbage sweets every day.  Learn to like vegetables, and protein and good bread.   Eat in moderation.  This is your life.  Exercise and take care of the your body.  It transports you to your passions in life.     If you are able to walk yourself,  in a wheel chair, using a cane, etc…  your body needs to be the best it can be for you.  The food is your fuel.  It is also for celebrations at weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, enjoy food as well.  Most of the time though, keep it healthy in a way that works for you.

I love love love food!  Oh my almost more then anything else in life.  I love the texture, the different tastes and the smells.  I can eat all day if you let me.  I also love my life and have so much I want to do.  So I am going to have the textures and the smells and the tastes.  I am also going to keep it healthy most of the time which consists of lots of lean protein, breads and pasta in moderation and tons of grilled veggies and fruit.  That is what works for me.   You are over 40 you figure out what works for you.

FPF Tip # 13:  Cook 4 out of 7 healthy dinners this week

10 Places to go to Spice Up Your Sex Life Over 40

10 Jun
We have the kids, we have work, we our committies, we have to exercise,oh and the grocery shopping too, etc…I could go on and on.  Sometimes sex takes a back door to our to do list.  Yet, it is where we are the closest to the one we love.  So why is making love to our partner less importnat then our grocery shopping? I know when I am making love the world stops and I am just in that moment. There are also times when I am thinking, ” I have to get to bed I have work in the morning.”  I have been in both places.   Now, that I am not dating any one right now I can speak from a place of,  ” I will be more in the moment the next time I am there.”   You appreciate what you don’t have.  Isn’t that always the case…

Love making is different when you are over 40.  It is not as much about rush, rush as much as about really showing that other person how much you love them.  Hey a hot, sexy quickie is fun too!  We still have it over 40.  In fact we are probably more passionate in many ways because we don’t have the kids that can walk in as we are trying to have a moment.  Our kids are grown up and the love making has grown up too. 

Making love should be like taking a quick vacation.  You have this special person in your life so make them a priority,  you will get to the laundry later!

10 Quick ideas for Love Making…Spice it up!

1.  Welcome your mate home in a white tee and nothing else.  Just stand there say nothing.

2.  Ask your partner to join you in the shower

3.  Get your speical someone to think he/she is going grocery shopping but end up in a beautiufl hotel.

4. Pack your partners bags, pick he/she up at the office and go to an Inn for the evening

5.  Text your special person to meet you for lunch in bed in 10 minutes. 

6.  Walk naked in front of your partner and say nothing. Watch what happens

7.  Put a note in their pants saying,  ” I can’t wait to make love to you.” I bet they take the rest of the day off!

8.  Get up,  cook a great dinner,  then take everything off the table…you get the point

9.  Give your partner a massage

10.   Write a fantasy letter to your special someone and tell he/she to open it when they get to work. 

FPF#12:  Get waxed, make your privates even more appealing

Until Then…Bari


Low Cost Spa’s-Great Article by Budget Travel

8 Jun

Low Cost Spas-Budget Travel Great Article

Every  women should pamper herself once in life.  Budget Travel put out a wonderful article with the best low cost spas.,2460/?page=2Plan ahead

Get your friends together,  Girl’s weekend

Pamper yourself,  You deserve it!

FPF Tip #10:   Get a massage, it will do wonders for your stress

Until Then…Bari


8 Jun


Now that I am 51 I get more attention from men then when I was in my 20’s.  Why is that?  The consensus with most men is that you hit the wall after your 30’s. I have gone beyond that wall and so have thousands upon thousands of women around the world.   I don’t have a 20 year old body.  I am no longer 134 pounds.  I have veins on my legs, and I wear reading glasses.  BUT… I workout and I keep myself in shape.  I eat right most of the time.  I refuse to let my age determine how hot and sexy I feel.What Cuts the Hot  and the Sexy  Away….

1. Being Desperate:  The Women that settle because they are scared to be alone.

2. Dressing Old:  No Stretch Pants.  No Grannie Panties,  No Matching Clothes from top to bottom.

3.  Cutting your Hair way too short:  Very few woman can wear short hair cuts

4.  Bad Attitude: Need I say More

5.  Letting your body go:  My Mom is 75 and she exercises and watches her weight,  No Excuse.

6.  Not coloring your hair:

7. Cutting down your sex life: Sex  isimportant.  No partner,  get a toy

Get Hot,  Get Sexy,  Turn Heads….  

1.  A  Young Attitude

2.  Exercise and Healthy Eating

3.  Confidence

4.  Having longer hair that flows

5. Great Style

6.  Having Responsible Sex

7.  Giving Back

8.  Speaking up for what is right

9.  A group of friends

10.  Walking tall:  It says it all

The age of acting like a grandma in your 40’s are way gone.  Get with the program.  There is plenty of life left for you to live.  Live full out.  It is not too late.  Lose the weight,  start dating, get your style,  start a new career….TURN HEADS!

FPF TIP #11:  Call a friend and go Salsa Dancing!

Until Then:  Bari

10 Ways to Stay Young on a Budget

7 Jun

Taking care of your self is essential in staying young. You don’t have to be a millionaire to be able to pamper yourself like the wealthy to.

Here are 10 things you can do for yourself on a low-budget

1.Give yourself a home facial: Go on YouTube there are a lot of spas that advertise and will show you how to give yourself a great at home facial.

2. Give yourself a Mani/Pedi

3. Exercise: Don’t have money for a gym? NO EXCUSE. Run or Walk outside 4 times a week if your doctor approves.

4. Meditate: When you are peaceful inside your beauty will shine on the outside. If you don’t know how, there is no trick to this. Find a favorite peaceful place, light some candles, dim the lights, and close your eyes. It will come to you.

5. Touch up your roots: You don’t have to go to a stylist. Again go to YouTube for instructions. When you see women where their gray is showing or roots are half way down it makes you look so much older. STOP THAT. Take the time to touch your hair up.

6. A Good Moisturizer: I can’t say this enough, “Moisturize, Moisturize, and Moisturize!” There are many good over the counter products if you can’t afford the ones in the department stores. Some are even better!

7: Read a book: Close the door, cuddle up in your favorite chair and take an hour with no TV or Computer or Phone on and read. It does wonders.

8. Buy Yourself Flowers: I love Daisy’s. They are usually $5.99 for a dozen and they make me Happy! There is nothing like walking into your home after a hard day and seeing these Joyful flowers.

9. Eat Healthy: Just because you are on a budget does not give you and excuse to eat poorly. There are sales in all our grocery stores on fresh fruit, veggies and protein. Take advantage. What you put in your body shows on the outside

10. Love yourself: Get rid of the regrets, say good-bye to the beating yourself up from past mistakes, and start a new! You are an Intelligent, Beautiful, Passionate, Woman!

Follow me on twitter:

Email me at:

Until Then…Bari